Sitting in my room after a day long tiring work of HPVC and of my internal publication, i happened to think about myself. Everybody say i am a changed guy. Am i?
Years had past by but i still remember the day my family (especially my parents) had taken the bold and yet the most fruitful decision for me, to move me to kota for my JEE coaching. At that time i was not willing. As after years of nurishment under their supervision, to move to an unknown place with nobody around you, is really what i cant just think of. But still the decision of my DAD was final.
18 April
I remember the date clearly, it was the day i had to board the train from Ambala for my destiny. The night of 17th was really haunting for me. I tried a lot but i cant put myself to sleep, may be this was the case with my MOM too.
In past one year my mom's attachment with me has grown to its height. My brother had left an year ago for his engineering preparation and i was the alone one with my mom for the rest one year. It was lot more difficult for my mom to agree with my dad's decision but she did so.....for me....my future.
Somehow i was able to move to sleep around 4 in the morning.
I woke up early that morning(8, i guess) which was something astonishing for my father(as i usually go for sleep till 11 during vaccations), may be not for my mom. I went through my morning routine and had my breakfast. It was around 10 in the morning then when the door bell rang. I guessed it to be my uncle( sheel mamu)...... and indeed it was him. My uncle was really happy that finally i am moving to kota for something he wants me to achieve . He was the one who convinced my dad for choosing kota as an option for my preparartion, and finally he had succeded.
Finally it was 2'o clock and i had to leave along with my father for Ambala. It took around three hours by car to move to Ambala from Sangrur. My mom packed some eatables for the journey. She did all the packing so calmly as if i am going on only for 2-3 days, but i know somewhere deep in her heart she was afraid of sending me out alone and might be crying with no tears to show. I know she is not going to tell either me or my dad but i can well see from her face, her reluctance to send me out. Her face had grewn pale , as if someone had stolen her usual gestures and smile from her face. OH! GOD! Is that all what you want? I really hate those situations when i have to choose and especially the one in which i had to choose from the two i love the most. The situation here was much similar. I had my future on one side and my mom's love on other. I know that i am leaving her only for 2 years and will be right back but i dont know why it appeared me then as if now i take one step away from her, i will never be able to take a step closer to her. This gap is only going to be get wider. Knowing all this i still prefer moving to kota as if i know thats what even she expects me to do.
I finally touched her feet( as we punjabi's usually greet our elders). She might be trying to step back i guess to show her discontent but again for my sake, she blessed me.
With all those turbulence in my mind, i sat in the car and waved back to her. She was standing at the door looking for me to return. Moving towards my destination i realised that i had forgot something, i had left something back at home....what was it?????
Myself.............. Yes!!! i had left myself. And that was the day i actually changed....
